A Positive thought...

This is a poem Brad wrote today as a way to deal with his grief. He was at the library looking out the window at the golf course and it was surrounded in caution tape and it made him think of my mom. Although there was no actual crime and no caution tape, he said that he felt it was a crime that she went so suddenly. He said he felt like she was robbed of her life. The final thought of the poem keeps his mind positive and hopeful for what's after this life. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did-it made me cry because it is so true!



Floating yellow strands, with cold, black letters
Line the doorway of your dark, empty place.
“Not for the weak of heart,” the tape mutters,
As it flutters, like a slap in the face.
But the words don’t hurt anymore, because
The sun is still shining from heaven’s lap--
To remind how He has washed all your flaws,
How anyone can dodge the devil’s trap.
Burn on us now, and show us, the path:
That the bleakness of The Fall was usurped
By the power and glory of His death.
Hand in hand, go from the devil decerpt,
And let the tears be happy memories
Of a life, once in bondage, that is free.

Unimaginable

I still truly cannot believe that my Mom is gone. I keep thinking "I should call her and ask her about this picture" or "Why I am taking all her stuff she's not going to have anything left". I keep saying to myself that it's not really happening but then I get a flash of the image of her when I found her and I realize that it is very real. I am sort of numb today, haven't cried much like the other days-it's almost like I have no more tears left. My Husband and his 2 friends are bringing her furniture to my Garage and my Dad is cleaning her apartment. I look into my garage and her entire life is stuffed haphazardly into it. Things are piled on top of things and I keep walking in there and just staring at the things that filled her apartment, the things that accumulated form her 61 years of life. She lived in her apartment for 20 years-I lived there for 8. She has things that were mine, things that I rolled my eyes at when I found out she still had them and told her she was goofy for keeping them-they are now things I wouldn't give up for anything in the world. I checked her e-mail and her cell messages nothing interesting. However when I checked her outgoing calls she had called Urgent Care two days before she died and talked for 1 min 18 secs. I don't know what was said but it makes me sad to think she was bad enough to look into it 2 days before her death but ignored what her body was telling her. I miss her terribly and I am still wondering if it's true...I hope not.

I was just about to push publish when I thought "oh I should call my Mom and tell her I posted." It made her day when I would blog, she checked it everyday and unfortunately I barely blogged, I wish I would have been better. It brought her such joy.

Update

Hey Everyone-

This is Kelly, Kristen asked me to write a quick update for all of you with regards to her mom.

The Coroner called and it looks like nothing obvious led to her passing. They are doing a toxology screen to make sure there weren't any lethal amounts of anything in her system, which they said is very unlikely-they just have to check. Most likely she passed away from an infection and combined with everything, her body just shut down.

Brad and Kristen are going through her apartment now and making decisions and arrangements. Please continue to pray for their family!

My Mom passed away yesterday

It was completely unexpected and I am stunned that this has happened. She was sick a couple days before thanksgiving with a fever and cough and her fingers and toes were getting numb. I told her she needed to go to the doctor but she said she'd be fine. Then yesterday she called at 11:15 and sounded terrible and could barely talk and was wheezing she said she would go to the emergency room but wanted to wait a couple hours so she could rest. She said she would call me at 3:30. After me freaking out and getting upset she asked me to just please wait -she wanted to be able to walk into the ER. She didn't call me at 330 so I started calling her her phone was off . I had her neighbor go over and bang on the door and nothing. He got a key from the manager of the apartments and we went in together at 600 and she was very much gone. The EMT said she had been gone since about 12:30. We are fairly certain it was pneumonia but they are doing an autopsy to confirm.